I get asked questions about homeschooling on a regular basis. Sometimes its a back-and-forth, a blessed exchange between a mom in the same trench right next to me. Sometimes its a stranger at the store who asks one of my children why they aren't in school. Sometimes its someone's friend or relative at a gathering who thinks we are "weird", what with all our excessive numbers of children that we have at home and rarely go to the doctor...
Here are some of the statements and/or objections I hear regularly:
"I never had the patience to homeschool/have more than one/two kids."
OK - I completely understand that not everyone is called to have 5 children. There are days where I regularly question God and my own sanity. Days that happen more often than I may admit. But then the days where the rewards are reaped, where brother goes out of his way to help brother, or sister makes lunch for everyone without being asked, or even the smallest of them insists on snuggle time with the biggest of them... those days make it OK. I remember how much each little Tribe Member brings to our family and how nothing would be the same if we had even one less. I am thankful that I have them all way more often than I am asked about my sanity (which is nearly every time I go out with them!).
Patience for homeschooling is another thing altogether... I don't think I have any more patience than the average parent and certainly no more than the average parent battling homework time. However, like most moms, I know what makes my children tick on an individual basis. I know that Thing1 is really art-oriented and sheets of math problems will make him want to pluck his eyelashes off. So I get him a math book that is full of color and different types of word problems. I have that choice in homeschooling. I can choose to use a different math curriculum for each of my indivdual tribe if I want to - or if they need it. That alone reduces the battle in "doing school". I also can choose to let him lay in the middle of the floor/under a table/in his backyard fort to do the math problems. I can't see a reason to force him to sit at a table and do math like in a traditional school. He's not a traditional scholar and to be able to do any of the "3 R's" with an artsy slant to them goes a long way to accomplishing the bigger picture of learning those subjects.
What about socialization?
People are very concerned that my kids are going to be weird and interacting with each other cannot possibly provide enough skills for them. Socialization by definition (www.dictionary.com) is: a continuing process whereby an individual acquires an a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior and social skills appropriate to his or her social position.
I am certain that the norms, values and behavior I have accomplished without issue and being the one to decide what those are is one of the many reasons we homeschool. Social skills appropriate to their social position? My husband and I feel that I am more than capable of teaching my 10 year old how to interact with other 10 year olds and even other adults. I struggle with the idea that this concerns people. Thing1 has friends his age. He has friends younger than him and friends older than him. He has grown ups who delight in conversation with him. I really feel that is a better and more rounded real-life picture of the "real world" - much more than sitting in a classroom of twenty-five 10 year olds for 8 hours a day and not being allowed to talk to them or, more importantly, question the adults around him.
Furthermore, in the "real world" there are very few workplaces (if any!) that are filled with adults who are all within 12 months of each other's age. By allowing my children to interact with each other (a 10& 1/2 year split between oldest and youngest after Thing5) along with other adults we communicate with in public, I think they are getting a better picture of real life. They play with each other's friends too... Thing2 just turned 8, and she loves her own-age girlfriends, but she gets great joy from playing with Thing3's friends who are 4. She even plays with Thing1's friends on occasion when they allow a girl to infiltrate their camp. (haha!) She can easily switch back and forth because that is her normal. When playing with the littler kids, she tends to shepherd more, naturally set examples and help in toy negotiations. When she's with older kids, she exerts her individuality, but also willingly learns from them. To me, that is a better picture of the real world and more socialization than being locked in a classroom with 20+ other kids within 12 months of each other's age.
However, I usually just say "We have groups of other homeschoolers we take field trips with, play with and do lessons with on a regular basis" because that is really their concern. They worry that I am raising my own little cult. They sigh "Oh good - so they get socialized." Then I sigh. I want to maintain a reasonable and peaceful image of homeschoolers so I don't go where I want to with this type of comment. Perhaps that is a testament to socialization in and of itself.
Coming up soon: How to homeschool... or at least how to begin doing it in Florida and how our tribe goes about it on a daily basis.
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